"Money makes the mare go"
People cannot live without money. Everyone indeed knows the value of money. It seems that nothing is more powerful than money. However, there are also opinions against the power of money that: money is just kind of paper having numbers on it and cannot give people the happily spiritual life. To me, money is a multi-purpose key, having money people can have everything.
Money can support our material life. People can buy foods, clothes and goods which are necessary to survive. With money people can freely choose where to live: a big house with yard and pool instead of a small one with noting, a nice vila instead of a low-roofed cottage. We can decide how convevient our house is, how good our accomondation is and how luxurious our car is. Is there anything greater than we can lie down on a comfortable sofe and watch films with a crytal liquid sceen television or play computer game in rainy days? Is there anything more pleasant than we can enjoy the cool and fresh air with the air-conditioning in the muggy and hot days. In fact, how can we satisfy our needs when we cannot afford to buy them? So money has it own power on allowing us to have such a better life.
Money can improve our spiritual activities easily. If we like, we can go to the concert, theatre and famous recreation center to relax. We also have chance to enjoy the beautiful landscapes by using money to travel around the world. Morever,money can help us learn more new and useful things. We can buy a lot of books and go to any schools, any universities or even go abroad to enhance our knowledge. Besides it, money is also a key of happiness. Having money we can do whatever we like and buy whatever we want. When the concerns about financial prolems disappear, our mind is free and comfortable. We will have the conditions to enjoy our own life. We will also feel pure happiness by contributing money to charity funds to help poor people and unlucky children. In general, money makes our spiritual life more colorful and happier.
Dispite of these ideas above, many people donot accept the power of money because they think it cannot buy a true love. We need to admit that love, which is a special feeling coming from heart, is difficult to be exchanged by any material. But saying that money connot brings us love and happiness is wrong. In fact, money is a necessary thing, from which love and other emotions can develope. Do you think and dare to love and marry a poor man and then have to worry about the poverty around you? It is true that money cannot buy love, but it can give us chance to win a heart. On the contrary, poverty is likely to break relationship because of the stresses and obstacles it brings. In real life, many couples have broken up because the arguments about financial problems continue to rise up and can not be solved. In short, money is a root, from which many things can grown smoothly including love and feelings.
What modern days are showing is that everthing existing in this world can be bought by the help of money. With money, people can have a pleasant and furnished life. It is really easier to face the rugged and difficult life with money and happiness even love goes through it.
Chủ Nhật, 18 tháng 4, 2010
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Your writing is persuasive. Money is essential for our existence and could enhance our love's romance. The matter is just how we earn money and the way we use it.
Trả lờiXóastrong points: an interesting topic with an attractive hook!
Trả lờiXóayour ideas and language are rich.
the refutation is very persuasive, I agree with you "a cottage and 2 gold hearts" cannot grow a real love.
my advice: It seems that you discuss more about the effects of having money, everyone has already known it! so you should give examples or stories to prove necessity of money obviously.
INTRODUCTION (2ms)
Trả lờiXóa- Background, hook 0.8
- Thesis statement 1
BODY (4.5ms)
- Good ideas 2
- Coherence, unity, development 1.9
- Language: Grammar, vocabulary (1.8)
CONCLUSION (2ms)
- Summarize (0.9)
- Lesson, suggestions (0.7)
Total: 9.2